I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
