matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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