lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
