apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
