yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
