I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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