I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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