I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
be right there i have to get my cape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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