you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize