4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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