Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
