So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
