I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
