Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize