Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
