I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
