Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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