hell yes lets make some ravioli
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
