Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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