Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.

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  (313): I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines. http://tfl.nu/hfn6
  Replies (3) Good night (1161) Bad night (1624)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.

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  (810): Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time. http://tfl.nu/rbpy
  Replies (6) Good night (875) Bad night (2037)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer

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  (703): Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer http://tfl.nu/3upq
  Replies (42) Good night (3632) Bad night (954)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.

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  (641): since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing. http://tfl.nu/ihpp
  Replies (10) Good night (6709) Bad night (1666)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.

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  (253): I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs. http://tfl.nu/cszc
  Replies (15) Good night (4513) Bad night (1030)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.

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  (480): I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly. http://tfl.nu/a7gl
  Replies (10) Good night (3526) Bad night (1342)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people

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  (612): I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people http://tfl.nu/8cwf
  Replies (28) Good night (1240) Bad night (5386)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.

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  (727): These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular. http://tfl.nu/78s0
  Replies (6) Good night (1309) Bad night (3427)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.

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  (330): I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it. http://tfl.nu/zgfe
  Replies (18) Good night (4119) Bad night (1147)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....

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  (802): think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight.... http://tfl.nu/1kod
  Replies (9) Good night (897) Bad night (1378)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been

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  (513): seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been http://tfl.nu/nato
  Replies (1) Good night (946) Bad night (404)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Turn on the Discovery Channel

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting

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  (586): Turn on the Discovery Channel (586): Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting http://tfl.nu/ex8r
  Replies (6) Good night (616) Bad night (304)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.

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  (518): If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon. http://tfl.nu/vgjv
  Replies (3) Good night (279) Bad night (628)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.

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  (917): The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad. http://tfl.nu/oau9
  Replies (7) Good night (340) Bad night (537)
• Favorite

  (458): View more from Oregon

  And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.

  (458): View more from Oregon

  Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.

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  (458): And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him. (458): Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man. http://tfl.nu/z269
  Replies (3) Good night (848) Bad night (247)

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