Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  "Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (239): "Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood. http://tfl.nu/hwa3
  Replies (18) Good night (1391) Bad night (4162)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go http://tfl.nu/lquj
  Replies (1) Good night (2377) Bad night (704)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me http://tfl.nu/nv09
  Replies (8) Good night (3093) Bad night (787)
• Favorite

  (478): View more from Georgia

  I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (478): I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been. http://tfl.nu/xper
  Replies (3) Good night (898) Bad night (2723)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (216): Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades. http://tfl.nu/zsau
  Replies (10) Good night (3630) Bad night (961)
• Favorite

  (094): View more from

  After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (094): After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while. http://tfl.nu/x4in
  Replies (3) Good night (2770) Bad night (916)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom http://tfl.nu/lg7c
  Replies (6) Good night (3005) Bad night (1004)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"? http://tfl.nu/6yo8
  Replies (10) Good night (701) Bad night (1402)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor http://tfl.nu/cj2b
  Replies (8) Good night (2351) Bad night (1313)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (701): She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere. http://tfl.nu/am2w
  Replies (3) Good night (2222) Bad night (416)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it http://tfl.nu/2d0a
  Replies (1) Good night (809) Bad night (255)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals." http://tfl.nu/wo3q
  Replies (4) Good night (661) Bad night (295)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (306): Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift. http://tfl.nu/91xb
  Replies (3) Good night (697) Bad night (232)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal... http://tfl.nu/n6o9
  Replies (3) Good night (225) Bad night (420)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (740): I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore http://tfl.nu/8kqe
  Replies (10) Good night (453) Bad night (126)

Randomize