which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I just found a bag of teeth...
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.