Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Just pee around me
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
