So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
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