we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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