so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
