Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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