Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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