Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
