it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Panties = found
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
