You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
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She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
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I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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