i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Houston, we have a blender
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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