Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
