I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
