My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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