We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
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About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
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I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand