I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.