We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
