just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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