she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
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