Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Semen is not good for contacts.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
