he wants to bone in the snuggie
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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