matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize