You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
