it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize