I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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