I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
