i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
her facebook's as public as her vagina
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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