im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize
