I've blown a few things in my day
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
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