Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
