Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
