I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.