If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
