ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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