yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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