hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize