16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
