I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
