OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize