It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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