i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
