Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
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